Moved.

I'm over here now.

20. Why am I always a child?

This is my favorite thing I've ever watched on Youtube.

19. Censure

As I find more of my thoughts published on my blog, twitter, and elsewhere, I have to limit more and more of what I wan to write. I worry about hurting myself, hurting my friends or family. I don't want to cause more stress than necessary, and I certainly don't want to create drama because of my thoughts.

Yet at the same time, it hurts to keep my thoughts to myself. It hurts to keep my pain, and anger, and sadness mostly to myself and some of my friends who I can trust.

My outlets are all limited in one way or another. The full expression of what I want to put out is limited here as only text. Paper can only yield words and drawings, music only exists as sound. Yet what limits this even more is that it can be read and digested, and what ever I feel now can hurt someone else, or they can use it to hurt me more.

I want to be free in how I express myself, not only to myself, but to everyone. Yet this worry will never escape me, and will constantly sit on my shoulder as long as I write on the internet.

18. They had better make an I Love New York 3.

A hearty congratulations to Thing 2 for winning the third and final season of Flavor of Love. I think we're all glad that Flav didn't choose another woman who is absolutely insane.

17. Write Right Write

I have a particular hunch I will be blogging more as I live here. I'm mostly considering the fact that I'm getting used to the town again, and thinking of how the creative and emotional outlets I had in Chapel Hill are superior to the ones I currently have in Cary.

I think it will get better with time, but until then, I will attempt to improve my writing.

I've been playing through Final Fantasy X again. I do enjoy some aspects of it, and it's fun to revisit those. Other aspects are showing their flaws, especially the battle system. While most of the characters are useful, they are unfortunately designed to be used mostly in one or two situations. For example, certain types of enemies are to be destroyed by one certain character, another enemy by another one, and so on. It kind takes the guess work, and creativity, out of it.

However, playing through it again does show how much detail and work they put into it. Some of the cut scenes rendered by the game engine are gorgeous, and it makes you wonder how much of those they should have tried to make. I also love the sphere grid system. I think they could have done more to make the characters more customizable, but overall it is a very flexible and fun system to use.

I'm hoping to start reading some books soon. I picked up a variety of things from the library, some on recommendations, others based on gut feelings of mine. Hopefully, my brain will remember I can also read for pleasure.

16. Happenings

I'm in an actual opera production. I'll be in the chorus of Long Leaf Opera's production of Regina. I'm also covering the role of Ben in the production, which is pretty fun, and also pretty scary. The music is in the level of Tear my Hair Out hard. This mostly comes from the fact that the composer set a lot of the music in a way similar to natural speech. This makes a lot of the rhythms very tricky to match to music.

In spite of the difficulty of the music, I do enjoy it. it has a nice mix of American styles that make it a very fun and listen-able piece, and the rhythmic inflection of the music makes it very easy to understand.

My life has been pretty easy going recently. I'm trying to get together a new resume to send out to potential employers. I've found a couple of local music schools I'm going to apply to, and in the mean time I'm also going to try to set up some private students. With any luck, I'll start having a real income sometime soon.

Meanwhile, I'm finding the key to my sanity in my new living arrangement is to get out of the house as much as humanly possible. If I am not here, I cannot be constantly harassed by my parents about what I am or am not doing. Furthermore, when I am here, the next key to my sanity is to be doing something that seems uninterpretable. Thankfully, since I am learning this opera, that takes up a lot of my time, and my parents are generally afraid to interrupt me as I work on it.

I'm also working on scouting out places that can work as escapes around Cary and Morrisville. I've got a gym now, so I can work out and get rid of some stress. I'm working on finding a coffee place to go and do some reading here and there. I'm hoping that overall to reconnect with friends in the area, and not go insane.

I'm giving myself four weeks before insanity with the current state of affairs. Anyone else wanna take bets?

15. Taking it down the lane

Barack Obama proves that he can not only speak at the Dean Dome, but he can also use his political powers to crush Basketball players in the prime of their collegiate careers.